[story] utopia assignment

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Feb. 1st, 2014 | 12:07 pm

author: noah berlatsky
e-mail: noahberlatsky [ at ] gmail dot com

Technological progress is seen differently by Marx, Gilliam, and Bill Gates. Marx is more sexual — he thinks we should unify and propagate capital, because small letters are oppressive. Bill Gates disagrees, which is why most e-mail addresses do not use capital letters. Terry Gilliam, on the other hand, wants to have sex with George Orwell, and perhaps also Nazis. His England needs a facelift, and I believe that Tony Blair will give it one. Also Ireland. In our world which is coming up, Labor will bring forth computers on which we can order stuff. For example, Dick Cheney has ordered nuclear power plants. He has interesting ideas about storage in the future by stuffing waste into the gaping orifices of New Democrats, but lovingly. Once our leaders are radioactive, we will all hide from them in prison, which will greatly decrease costs and increase efficiency. Swift agrees with this analysis; in the future he believes that a steady diet of the Internet will either make us grow really big, which will allow us to do more work quicker, or really small, which means that we can eat fewer Irish babies per day. He also thinks that in the future we will be horses; to me, this seems unlikely.

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from: sub_divided
date: Jun. 8th, 2014 03:19 am (UTC)

Well, I think this is hilarious, anyway. Thx Noah!

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